DREAD
Drink Life's Tea, Embrace the Empty
This feeling of existential dread seems to never leave me.
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What’s the real purpose of existing?
Is it to live, work, and then die?
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I know there has to be more to life than just working and going on vacation once a year.
Is it the connections we make on the way to the grave?
Will the connections I make demonstrate I’ve lived a full and meaningful life at my funeral?
I can imagine all the people standing in front of my casket.
Somedays I just don't understand the point of all of this. Suffering is unavoidable, to suffer is to live is it not?
Life is like a cup of tea at times.
Sip by sip, day by day. Eventually, the tea is emptied, eventually, time is gone and you are left with the hollow cup that once was.
But didn't you enjoy the taste along the way to the end of the empty cup?
Do I drink it because I enjoy drinking the tea or do I enjoy it and how I feel drinking it?
Do I enjoy life, or do I prefer to be alive as I enjoy being alive and how it makes me feel?
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Am I too afraid to hold my empty cup and look inside it?
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Is there satisfaction in knowing I emptied the cup, or is there regret knowing I just paid $4.00 for peppermint tea?
Notes
Beginning
Dread was the first essay I ever wrote.
It holds very dear to my heart, as it started me on this journey of embracing my writing and creative passion.
Why?
Truthfully, there was no reason why. It came to me as an idea to write after I purchased a notebook for myself at the start of 2024.
The same notebook in the library button down below.
How?
I wanted to have a "clean slate" from social media.
That lead me to purchase a notebook to write in, instead of using my phone.
I was successful in doing that, which lead me to finish 3 notebooks in the year of 2024.
Which lead me to create this brand, this website and everything that you are reading.
Conclusion
Without dread, this website and brand wouldn't be here.
It is the foundation of all that I have created here.
I needed that dreadful cold day in Winnipeg drinking my overpriced peppermint tea in a starbucks that is now closed down.
That dreadful feeling has yet to leave me. It still haunts me everyday and I assume it will weigh on my shoulders until I pass.
But I write in protest.
As the dread of not trying will weigh me down more than compared to the dread of failing.
If you are here,
I thank you.
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